


Unsteady

by let_it_reign



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2018-06-04 02:04:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6636679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/let_it_reign/pseuds/let_it_reign
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ali has to learn to cope with missing the Olympics after tearing her ACL, only the support from her closest friend will help her through this.</p>
<p>Very very loosely based off the lyrics of 'Unsteady' by X Ambassadors</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New story, hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading

Ali wasn’t sure how many more times she could count the tiles on the ceiling. She had been lying in this bed for three hours now, waiting. Just waiting. All she wanted was to know what had happened. Sure she had been replaying the moment in her head over and over again. She was pretty sure she knew what she had done the moment the tackle had been made. 

5 hours after the game and 2 hours after her scan Ali had been given the conclusive results. She had torn her ACL and MCL. Any hope she had of playing in the Olympics in London that summer were gone. She already knew though, she had accepted that minutes after she was taken off the pitch. What she hadn’t expected was the extent of her injuries. A torn ACL was bad enough but to tear her MCL as well just made it all worse. Ali’s mind wandered the whole time, why had she been the one to be injured? Why did she have to suffer this? Had she not been through enough already? 

The only conversations Ali had with anyone since the game finished was a few brief text messages between the team. Right now though Ali had never felt so alone. She just wanted to be held tightly and have her knee magically repaired. Ali just focused on the future though, getting through rehab and coming back stronger than ever. But immediately she waited for both her mum and Ashlyn to arrive. She knew they wouldn’t be able to make it until tomorrow or possibly even the day after. She had a lonely time coming up and she would just have to get used to being around only one or two people all day.

The next Ali had to make her way to meet up with the team’s medical staff. This meant that she had to go and stop in during a training session. As Ali slowly made her way to the pitch, still not quite comfortable using the crutches she was given, she felt a tear carve a path down her face. She hadn’t quite realised she was crying until her eyes flooded with tears. It was seeing the team, seeing them running about and doing exactly what she couldn’t and exactly what she wouldn’t do for a long time: play football.

As soon as the team saw Ali approaching any chances of the drill finishing left as they made their way over to their injured friend. They all knew how tough this would be for Ali, not just physically but also mentally. The team spent a few minutes sending Ali their wishes before they were called back over. And honestly, Ali was relieved they left her, she hated all this attention, it just made her feel worse.

Ali made her way to speak to the medical staff to tell them the extent of her injury. Whilst Ali was listening to the plans for her rehab she started to cry again, completely overwhelmed with what was going to happen next. It was decided that after her surgery Ali would head back to Germany to be with her club team whilst completing her rehab. Part of the reason for Ali going back to Germany was because it was where Ali felt at home, she had fallen in love with the place she moved to fresh out of college. It was hoped this would help to improve how she felt emotionally.

Ali made her way back out to the pitch so she could see the team and tell them what was going to happen. She sat in the dugout of the stadium they were training out just laughing and joking with the team. In that moment she forgot about her injury and it just felt like any other day. As soon as the rest of the team were called back however Ali felt tears forming but decided she would try to stay strong, she didn’t even know it was possible to cry this much in the space of a couple of days. The drill the team were running meant that there was always a player off to the side just watching so each player took their time to speak to Ali, they mainly just said the same thing but the words Boxxy said to her stood out.

Shannon Boxx was the last player to speak to Ali while she sat on the bench and her conversation was the only one Ali could fully remember.

‘Thanks for yesterday y’know Boxxy. It really helped just having you there by my side’ Ali saud as Boxxy walked over.

‘Hey it’s alright, I know how tough this can be and how just having someone there helps’

‘I don’t know how I’m going to cope though, watching you all crush it at the Olympics knowing that I would have been there had it not been for a poorly timed shit tackle. This is all   
I’ve ever worked for and in a split second it’s been taken away from me.’ Ali forced out between ragged breaths.

‘Ali, look at me’ Boxxy said turning Ali’s face towards her own. ‘I know this is tough for you but you’ve just got to show the world that this won’t stop you and won’t hold you back. You just have to come back stronger next time. Yes it was a poor tackle but these things happen in the game, we were playing an inexperienced team so you can’t lose sleep over the tackle. I know you’ll struggle while we’re at the Olympics but all you can do know is push yourself as much as possible to return to the game as quick as possible. I know you’ll be back in no time at all and I’ll support you every step of the way.’ Shannon pulled Ali in to her side to comfort her and whispered into her ear, ’Ali just promise me you’ll be strong, you won’t let this define you and you come back and prove that you are still the best right back in the world.’

Ali just nodded softly as Shannon placed a soft kiss on her forehead as she stood up to join the rest of the team again.

Ali arrived back to the hotel to find Ashlyn waiting for her in the lobby. The worry was etched in to Ashlyn’s face as she stood up to greet Ali with a hug.

The two made their way up to Ali’s hotel room in silence, knowing that conversation would flow once they had some privacy.

The problem was Ali didn’t want to talk, once they reached her hotel room the door was slammed shut and Ali lay on her bed, facing the window. The past day had taken its toll on her and now she was in no mood to speak to anyone. She wiped away any stray tears before drifting off into a light sleep.

Ashlyn wasn’t quite expecting that welcome from Ali but she knew herself how tough it was to comprehend injuries like this so she let Ali have her space. Ashlyn decided just to wait until Ali woke up again, perfectly aware that if she pushed Ali to talk she would shut Ashlyn out even more. Ashlyn knew Ali would talk when Ali wanted to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and update when I can but I have exams and stuff I should be studying for so it may take longer than I want to update sometimes.

Ali woke up about an hour after she fell asleep but didn’t turn to face Ashlyn. She was trying to compose herself before the inevitable conversation she was going to have to have with Ashlyn. Ali picked up her phone to check the time- 5:32 pm, about an hour or so until she had to put on a brave face and make her way down to dinner with the team. Ashlyn had noticed this movement from Ali and decided to break the silence.

‘Look Ali, we only have about an hour and half till you have to go down and eat and we still need to talk. I know this is tough for you but avoiding it won’t get you anywhere. So come on, spill.’

‘Okay’ Ali whispered as she turned her body to face Ashlyn. As she looked at Ashlyn though any hopes of this being a tear-free conversation were over, seeing the tiredness in Ashlyn’s eyes made her appreciate her best friend even more.

‘So how you feeling?’ Ashlyn prompted as she knew if she forced the conversation Ali would most likely just shut her out.

‘You know how it is Ash, you’ve been through this before. You know how you felt once it had happened.’

‘I know Ali but when I tore my ACL, as hard as it was it wasn’t just a few months before the Olympics, yeah I missed a couple of seasons but I didn’t miss a major tournament.’

‘And there it is again, the fucking Olympics. The one thing I’ve been working for and now it is gone. Gone in an instant and there’s nothing I can do about it.’ Ali shouted in frustration.

‘Ali, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it but you need to get how you feel out there.’

Ali just stared blankly at the floor, not knowing what to say or how to put what she felt into words.

‘Look Ali,’ Ashlyn started, getting slightly annoyed at her, ‘I didn’t fly all the way out here in the early hours for you to just shut me out. I know you’re mad, I know you’re upset but just sitting there isn’t going to fix the problem. You can’t go back and stop the tackle from happening or just magically make it so you can walk again but what you can do is, go out, get the rehab done and prove to the world that this won’t stop you and you’ll only come back stronger.’

Ali wiped the tears away and decided to tackle this head on. 

‘Before I start Ash, one quick question, why did you fly out so quickly? Could you not just have waited a couple of days?’

‘Ali, I was watching the game, I saw the tackle, I heard your cries of pain’ this caused tears to form in Ali’s eyes. ‘I knew what had happened, I knew what you would have done and I also knew that when it happened to me all I needed was a familiar face and a shoulder to cry on. I had Whit, you can have me.’

‘I’m just frustrated at the minute I think Ash. I’m annoyed it happened to me and I’m annoyed that the player got away with it. I annoyed that all my hard work has been wiped away with one poorly timed tackle from an inexperienced player.’ Ali took a deep breath and wiped away the tears that were making their way down her face. ‘Ash, you know what, I’m upset that fans in the stadium had to see that, I’m upset that they saw me that way and they saw what a poor tackle can do.’

Ashlyn pulled Ali into a short hug, knowing how uncomfortable the brunette could get with hugs.

‘Look Ali, I know it’s hard to deal with but you’ll manage it. And as much as I don’t want any fans to have to see that they did, and it probably wasn’t the first time they’ve seen someone tear their ACL so don’t let that bother you. I know what I’m going to say seems hard but you’ve just got to move on from the tackle, as shit as it was, you’ve just got to move on. By moving on you’ll also just get over the fact it happened to you and you can just get focused on rehab. The less you focus on why it happened, the more you can focus on what will happen next.’

‘But Ash, I’m scared. What if even after rehab I’m always a step behind everyone else? What if I don’t even manage to recover fully and never play football again? Ash, what if this was my only shot at making it to the Olympics and I never play them? What if, Ash?’

‘Ali, this is exactly what went through my mind after my second one. And here I am after pushing all those negative thoughts to the back of my mind, here I am playing professionally after spending hour crying in the car because I never thought id be good enough again. I am here now, and next year you will be back on the pitch and forwards will come up against you and it’ll be like you never stopped playing.’

Ashlyn pulled Ali into an even tighter hug and stroked her hair as the girl cried into her arms.

‘Trust me Ali, you’ll make it back and I’ll be with you, supporting you every step of the way’ Ashlyn whispered into Ali’s ear before placing a light kiss on the top of her head.

The two sat on the bed until Ali had stopped crying and Ashlyn glanced over to see what time it was- 6:17pm.

‘Hey Ali, do you want to get yourself cleaned up. You wouldn’t want the rest of the team to see you like this would you?’ Ashlyn said softly.

‘I guess’ mumbled Ali as she got up and made her way to the bathroom.

After washing her face and reapplying her make up Ali came back out of the bathroom to head down to team dinner.

‘Ash, what are you going to do about food? I’m sure Pia wouldn’t mind if you came and ate with us.’

‘No, I’ll be fine Ali, I’m going to see what I can find and I’ll let you catch up with your teammates’ Ash replied, not wanting to admit that she wasn’t comfortable eating with the team as she hadn’t been called up yet.

‘Okay’ Ali said with some disappointment, ‘I’ll see you later’ 

‘See you later’ Ash said cheerily with a wave as Ali shut the door to make her way down towards reception.

Ali got outside the conference room the team ate in and paused for a moment to compose herself. She entered the room and gradually as the team noticed her, a silence feel over them and sympathetic looks were sent her way. Ali knew they all meant well but she couldn’t help feel more uncomfortable as she looked for a table to sit at.

‘Kriegs!’ Pinoe shouted noticing how uncomfortable Ali looked and pointed to the chair next to her, ‘come and sit over here buddy.’

Ali made her way over to the table occupied by Pinoe, HAO and Syd. HAO had been through this herself a few years back so knew how Ali had felt, and a table with Pinoe and Syd on was never going to be boring and was probably just what Ali needed. 

After subtly asking HAO to get her a plate of food so that she didn’t have to struggle Ali settled down and her nerves calmed. Soon she was laughing and having fun with the girls on her table, and for the first time since it happened, she wasn’t thinking about her knee. She was just enjoying herself. 

Ali made the most of that evening, having as much fun as possible with the team before she started the long, lonely process of rehab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Do you like it?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo new chapter. okay it took a while but school, football and life got in the way. enjoy!  
> sorry if there are any errors.

Finally the day of the operation had arrived. Ashlyn had returned to her club team but checked on Ali every day without fail. In her absence however Ali’s mum had arrived to care for her. It was the day of the operation and Ali would have been lying to herself and everyone else if she said she wasn’t scared. Ali was worried. She was worried about what would happen after the operation, if anything would go wrong. Even though she was having an operation with high success rates she was still scared and that was partly to do with what she had gone through in college.

Just before Ali was put under anaesthetic she had chance to speak to her mum.

‘Ali, I’ll wait right here for you until you are finished okay?’

‘Okay’ Ali mumbled barely loud enough to be heard.

Her mum picked up on this, instantly knowing Ali was nervous. 

‘What’s up Ali? What are you worried of?’

‘Mum, remember what happened in college? How can I not be worried about something like that happening again, only this time worse?’

‘Look Ali, it happened before and you got treated. This time we know how to try and prevent it. Ali I promise you’ll come out of this with only a sore knee and nothing else. Forget any thoughts about the pulmonary embolism you suffered and think about getting yourself back on the pitch as soon as possible, yeah?’ Debbie reassured her before pulling her into a quick hug.

‘Thanks Mum’ Ali whispered into her shoulder.

A light tap on the door interrupted them.

‘Hi it’s time for Ali to go to surgery’ the nurse at the door told them before getting ready to take Ali to theatre.

Following the operation the pain meds left Ali in a sleepy state so her Debbie left her alone for the night. Throughout the night Ali kept waking up for brief moments, often in pain or discomfort caused by her operation. 

About an hour later Debbie came to visit Ali. They spoke about how Ali’s knee was and how she was coping before Debbie turned the topic of conversation on to Ali’s career. In all of this mess Ali hadn’t thought about what was going to happen next, was she going to rehab here or go back to Germany, and her club team FFC Frankfurt? 

‘What do you think I should do?’ Ali asked Deb

‘Do whatever feels right to you. Of course I’d love you to stay in the US for a bit but I also know that Germany holds a special place in your heart, and you do have commitments out there.’

‘Where ever I am though, I’m only going to be rehabbing, I’m not going to be able to play so that part of it doesn’t make a difference.’

‘But what about you? Where would you be happier?’

‘I guess I’d be happier in Germany with my club team. Although I can’t play I’ll probably get less reminders of what I’m missing out on, all the stuff with the national team that will be happening. A slight change of scenery might do me some good as well.’

‘Ali if that’s what you want, that’s fine by me. I’ll leave you for a bit to sort out going back to Germany. Just call if you need anything.’ Deb said before heading out of the hospital room.

Ali didn’t need anything else. And the only call she was going to make was a call to Ashlyn. A call to Ashlyn to reluctantly let her know what was going to happen. Ali knew that her decision shouldn’t be based on how her best friend would feel but she felt bad that she was leaving for Germany. Ali knew how Ashlyn cared for her and would want to help her rehab but the best thing for Ali was just to get away it all. Ali needed to escape, clear her mind and focus purely on getting fit again. 

Ali reached out on to the bedside table for her phone and opened up her contact list. She knew Ashlyn would understand what she was going to do and why, but that didn’t stop 

Ali from having to take a few deep breaths to compose herself and mentally prepare what she was going to say.

Ali dialled the number and waited for Ashlyn to pick up. She wasn’t waiting long as Ashlyn picked up on the second ring.

‘Ali, how are you? Has something happened?’

‘No Ash, I’m fine. I’ve had the operation now so I’m just sorting out about recovery.’

‘That’s brilliant Ali, where are you rehabbing then? Are you staying around the national team camp or what?’

‘That’s the thing Ash’ she said with a sigh, ‘I’m going back to Germany. I need to get away from it all’

‘Why though? All the equipment you could ever need is right here. All the support and friendships you could ever need are right here. Why are you going back to Germany?’

Ali had expected Ashlyn to be more understanding than this, she wasn’t expecting to have to explain herself.

‘Look Ash, the memories are too raw for me here. Seeing on the news about the teams preparations and hearing all the details about camp. Hearing about everything I’m missing because of knee. It’s only going to make this all the more difficult.’

‘Okay Ali,’ Ashlyn mumbled, not entirely pleased by what she was hearing, ‘just promise me you won’t cut us off, promise me you’ll keep in touch and I swear anytime it gets hard I’ll always be on the other end of the phone.;

‘I promise I won’t cut you off. I’m just going to clear my head and focus on my recovery. I’ll be back before you know it and don’t worry I certainly won’t hesitate to call you.’ 

‘I’ll see you soon then Ali, call me whenever you want and let me know when you’ve gone, please?’

‘Of course I will Ash, don’t you worry. I’ll see you soon.’

Ali held the phone to her chest for a few seconds even after the call had ended, just taking a moment to appreciate the friendship she had with Ashlyn Harris. 

There was no doubt in Ali’s mind that these next few months were going to be hard and they were going to push her to breaking point but she knew she had to make it. She had to get back on the pitch as soon as possible. She may be missing the Olympics but she sure as hell wasn’t going to waste any time getting back into the national team camp.

So that was it, the hardest part so far was done. She had made it through the surgery, had got through the psychological side of the injury and now she was just onto the physical side and the gruelling process of rehab. 

Ali booked a plane ticket less than an hour after she decided to go back to Germany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please any feedback what's so ever is welcome. good, bad, anything. Is anyone still reading this by the way?  
> hopefully I won't be too long updating but exams are here and I haven't studied yet and this is just another way to stop me studying, oops.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long, but school and exams happened

Ali had landed in Germany 3 weeks earlier and the whole time since she landed she’s been texting and calling Ashlyn, constantly reminding her that she’s fine. Ali knew Ashlyn meant well but she couldn’t help feeling that talking to her was becoming an inconvenience rather than a natural habit. Ali had gone to Germany to leave talk of the national team behind, at least during the start of her recovery, but Ashlyn kept bringing it up.

Recovery was tough; there was no denying it. Ali had though double practice days and preseason was tough, but they had nothing on the intense rehab programme she was currently on. Ali was coming home too tired to even shower or eat. There were the first few days where Ali had returned home only to lie in bed at night in complete agony. They were the hardest days. They were the days when quitting became a serious consideration. They were the days when Ali appreciated Ashlyn being there.

Then there are days like today. The days when Ali returns home feeling numb. Not from pain, not from sadness, just numb. The days Ali wishes more than anything that she wasn’t injured. The days where she just wants to fall asleep and wake up completely healed. They are the days when Ali didn’t appreciate Ashlyn being there. They are the days when Ali’s replies were blunt, no phone calls were made, and the days Ali ‘fell asleep’ mid conversation.

The morning after those days was even worse than the night before. Ali always felt better after a night’s sleep, but always felt guilty as well. Ali would wake up and see the conversation she had with Ashlyn the day before and feel guilty that she’d shut off the one person who checked on her every single day. Those days Ali pushed herself harder in rehab. She worked so hard that tears rolled down her face and mixed with the sweat so no one could tell she was crying. Those days Ali came home, lay in bed with her knee in agony. Those days she appreciated Ashlyn again.

It was four weeks after Ali had returned to Germany that she received a call about heading back to the States for a few weeks for some commercial appearances. The person on the end of the phone also said Ali would be able to head into the national team camp for a few days. Ali didn’t know how to respond beyond the polite ‘Thank you’ she mumbled every so often. Whilst finalising the details Ali was told her flight was booked for 5 days later. The minute Ali got off the phone she put it straight back to her ear, hoping and praying   
Ashlyn would pick up quickly.

Ashlyn picked up quickly and relief washed over Ali quickly when she heard that familiar voice.

‘Hey Ali, what’s up?’

‘Hey Ash, I’m good and I’ve got some good news to tell you.’

‘Oh yeah? What’s that?’

‘Well, you know camp next week?’

‘Yeah, what about it Ali?’

‘I’m gonna be there Ash. I have some commercial appearances to make and I’m going to be allowed into camp for a few days to see you all again.’

‘Ali, I’m so happy. I can’t wait to see you again and I know the rest of the team will feel the same.’

At this mention of the team Ali realised she hadn’t really spoken to them since she left for Germany. In trying to forget about the pain of missing the Olympics Ali had stopped speaking to most of them other than Ashlyn and the occasional conversation with Heather.

‘Ash that’s the thing’ Ali started quietly, ‘I don’t know if I can face it. I haven’t spoken to most of the team properly since I left and I don’t know if I can cope with all the Olympic talk there is going to be.’

‘Look Ali, I know you haven’t really kept in touch with anyone but they want to see you, the amount of times I’ve been asked about you is unreal. As well I’m sure the team understand how tough it is for you so I don’t think they’ll keep throwing the Olympics in your face. And, Ali, you really need to spend some time with people other than your physio and the occasional team mate you see, it’s not healthy to be so cut off.’

The truth in Ashlyn’s words stung Ali to hear but they were words she needed to hear. Ashlyn always seemed to know what to say to Ali and when. 

‘Thanks Ash. You really helped and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I can’t wait to see again.’

‘Ali don’t worry about it. I told you I’d be with you through all this and I will. I’ll see you soon then and if you need anything no matter what time it is just call.’ Ashlyn promised to   
Ali, she knew what she was going through and how important it was for Ali to have someone there for her.

‘See you soon Ash’ Ali whispered into the phone before ending the call.

Tears rolled down Ali’s cheeks as she sat and let everything that had happened in the last month wash over her. This was the first time since the operation Ali had stopped. The first time she had stopped being completely focused on rehab and the first time she had stopped forgetting about her team back in the US. Ali though that completely ignoring what she was missing out on would help her but in actual fact it only made things worse. Ali had begun to shut out everything around her and just pushed herself harder in training.

Now Ali had stopped it had hit her. She wasn’t helping herself, she needed to speak to people back at home in a way to not feel isolated from everyone. She had gone about her recovery in the wrong way and without realising it had made herself lonely. Ali was lonely and now she had ended her call with Ashlyn, she was alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you are enjoying it. thoughts?  
> I have about 3 weeks left of school and exams and I will have more time so hopefully I will update quicker than I have been


	5. Chapter 5

Ali arrived at the team hotel not quite sure how she was feeling. She knew she should have been excited to see her friends but couldn’t help but feel nervous and guilt at how she had been acting or the past month.

All these feelings were brushed aside as she made her way into the lobby and was greeted by all her friends. After the formalities of answering questions about her recovery the team slipped back into their normal flow laughing and joking with each other. Ali realised how much she had missed the team and made a mental note not to cut herself off from everyone again. Ali had been roomed with HAO, which she was pleased about because besides Ashlyn, HAO was the only other person Ali had properly spoken to.

Training and rehab with the US trainers was considerably more difficult than in Germany but Ali hadn’t really noticed because just being back with her team mates made everything seem better. Ali began to appreciate her team mates much more after only a couple of days in camp.

This feeling Ali had, of just being happy and content with life no matter how bad her situation was at the minute, was what made her decision for her. It had been plaguing Ali’s thoughts for a few days before she left Germany, but she now knew the time was right. It was time for Ali to leave the only place she had known during her professional career. 

Despite all the memories, team mates she loved, the city and the language Ali knew deep down in her heart that it was time to leave Frankfurt. It wasn’t going to be easy for her which is why she found herself explaining herself to HAO one night in camp before they went to sleep.

‘How’s life back in US treating you then Ali? Even though we didn’t talk much the past month- not forgiving you for that by the way- you seem much happier, what’s changed?’ HAO asked, keeping the conversation light hearted for now.

‘I’m doing good, honestly I feel so much better now I’m back home, so to speak. I hadn’t realised how much I’d cut everyone off.’

‘You can say that one again Kriegs. I was worried about you having not heard from you properly for days. I’m sure I was driving Ashlyn mad constantly asking about you.’ HAO said with a chuckle.

‘Yeah well sorry about that one, I promise I’ll let you know what’s going on more. HAO can I ask you something real quick?’

‘Fire away Ali’

‘So I’m sure you’ve heard the rumours about the new league being formed here,’ Ali waited for acknowledgement of the this fact before continuing, ‘well, I’ve been thinking about it a bit, and these last few days have helped make up my mind, but I think I’m ready to leave Frankfurt.’

‘What’s caused this, I thought you loved it Germany?’ HAO questioned, looking for more information.

‘I do love it in Germany, but this past month has been hard and being back here now I’ve realised how much I’m missing out on. And to be completely honest I feel like I’ve done all I can with Frankfurt and I’d welcome a new challenge. I’ve also felt lonely these past few weeks and for some reason being in camp just a couple of days has felt more like home than Germany ever will, so I think it’s just time.’

‘Have you spoken to anyone else about it Ali?’ Ali just shook her head, ‘Well I’d talk to a couple others and see what they think before deciding. I think it’d be great for you, I’ve seen how happy you’ve been these couple of days but make sure you know you definitely want to leave Germany before making a final decision.’

‘Thanks HAO’ Ali said before rolling over to go to sleep. Before she fell asleep though she found herself trying to figure out why HAO was being so cryptic with what she was saying. It played on her mind for the next few hours as HAO was normally pretty blunt with things and only danced around topics if she felt what she was going to say would upset or hurt anyone.

Ali woke up the next morning feeling much better about herself. An unknown weight had been lifted by her just talking to someone about the potential of moving. She had forgotten how good it felt to talk to someone who truly understood her; while she was close with players in Germany none of them knew her quite as well as the other national teamers.

Ali went off to training mentally prepared for a tough day of rehab. As Ali wasn’t able to train fully she was training on her own in a small section of the pitch at the opposite end to the rest of the squad. Although she was technically working alone just being near and able to see and hear the rest of the team made her feel better. It also motivated her to work harder so she could be back in that group as soon as possible.

It must have been about 45 minutes into the session and the goalkeepers had been out for a while training when Ali heard a shout and glanced up to see a small huddle around one of the goalkeepers. Ali could see the blonde hair that could only belong to Ashlyn and prayed that there was nothing seriously wrong. The trainer kept Ali’s mind away from what had happened by constantly pushing her so she could focus on nothing but the rehab.

After a tough morning session Ali had gone into the trainer’s room so she could properly recover and stretch out her muscles. She saw Ashlyn sat at one of the table with a dejected look on her face. 

‘Hey Ash’ Ali said softly, ‘What happened out there? Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m okay. It’s not looking good though Ali. It seems as though I’ve dislocated my shoulder.’ Ashlyn got out quietly.  
‘Oh Ash, I’m sorry.’ Ali was at a loss for words, she knew how much Ashlyn had been through injury wise and didn’t want another dream of hers to be crushed by yet another injury.

‘It’s alright I guess. I’ll just be making Pia’s selection choices easier’ Ashlyn chuckled, ‘Look on the brightside you can have some company of the summer, we wouldn’t want you having to watch the team on your own now would we.’

‘You’re ridiculous Ash.’ Despite everything the positivity Ashlyn always had never ceased to amaze Ali.

‘Yeah well I do try. Anyhow, how’s your knee doing?’

‘It’s feeling much better, I can tell I’m getting stronger each day and I have more confidence in my knee as well. I can feel my movements and running becoming steadier and it’s good.’ The progress Ali had been making was really good and she couldn’t help but smile when talking about how she felt.

‘That’s brilliant Ali. I’m so happy- well as happy as I can be with my current situation,’ Ashlyn gestured towards her shoulder, ‘I have to head off to get the diagnosis confirmed but I’ll see you when I get back?’

‘Yeah of course, text me when you know please.’

‘I will don’t worry Ali, now go and get your recovery done.’

‘Yes ma’am’ Ali said mocking a salute in response.

It had been about an hour later when Ali had got the text off Ashlyn.

 

Ash: Shoulder dislocated :( definitely missing Olympics. 

Ali: i don't know what to say ash. what you dong when you get back? If nothing how does watching a film sound?

Ash: sounds like a plan to me! we can wallow in our misery together, jk but a film sounds perfect I’ll be back in about an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought? predictions? any feedback?   
> sorry if there were any errors in this or previous chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, i'm sorry this took so long and i'm sorry but I think this chapter is kinda crap. it's taken forever to write and no amount of changing it is making it seem better to me so i'll just let you have it anyway. hope you enjoy it anyway

When Ashlyn had returned to the hotel she and Ali had tried to decide on a film to watch but ultimately failed. This was irrelevant to them both as they were equally worn out from practice so were never going to manage to stay awake long enough to watch the film anyway. 

 

The next day was Ali’s last day in camp so her and Ashlyn had to get their plans for the summer sorted.

Ali spent the morning packing her bags and was just about finished when Ashlyn knocked on her door.

‘Hey Ash, come in. I’ve just about finished packing and my flight leaves this evening.’

‘Pleased to see you’ve finally realised packing early is good idea,’ Ash joked. ‘Anyway, I’ve just spoken with Pia and she’s decided that if I want I can leave camp early. I mean I’m not going to be doing much in the way of training and there’s no way I’m going to the Olympics so it’s pretty pointless me staying.’

‘Can I say that’s good Ash? I don’t really know. But anyway what are you going to do now then?’

‘I think I’m going to spend a couple of weeks seeing family while I have more free time, and then we’ve got an Olympics to watch so I’ll fly out to Germany.’

‘I can’t wait Ash, let me just finish my packing and we’ll go meet up with everyone else, I’ve got to say goodbye and good luck to everyone.’

Ashlyn nodded and just waited for the few minutes it took Ali to squash everything into her suitcases.

After spending a couple of hours with the rest of the team Ali had to head off to the airport. She had decided to go to the airport alone because she knew that it would be hard to say goodbye to anyone if she kept putting it off till the last minute. As Ali said goodbye to Ashlyn she had to tell her how excited she was to show her around Frankfurt and how much she’d love it.

It was on the plane back to Germany that Ali’s mind was made up.  
She definitely knew that the right thing for her to do was to head back to America to continue her career. 

Ali had been back in Frankfurt for a couple of weeks and in that time had only focused on her rehab. Ali still hadn’t informed her club of her intentions to return to the US. She didn’t think it was fair to drop big news like that on them whilst they were letting her use their rehab facilities.

Ashlyn had joined Ali in Germany a week later and that had taken Ali’s mind off what she was going to do in the future. On the weekends Ali spent her time showing Ashlyn the sights of her second home. It wasn’t long before Ashlyn could see why Ali had fallen in love with the country. They had both been to watch a few of Frankfurt’s matches as well. 

During the days Ali was in rehab Ashlyn had to find her own thing to do. Sometimes she would join Ali for a bit and get some work done on her shoulder to help recovery, sometimes Ali would return home from training and find Ashlyn cooking them both some dinner. They had fallen into a somewhat domesticated routine whilst Ashlyn had been in Germany.

By the time the Olympics rolled round they had both made huge strides in their recovery and couldn’t wait to see what kind of performance the team would produce in England. As they were in Germany to watch the matches the time difference didn’t affect them so they could experience the matches better.

They had watched the first match against France and had been impressed by how the team had turned around the 2-0 deficit. The day of the Columbia match was also Ali’s birthday. Ali and Ashlyn had spent the day around Frankfurt making the most of the occasion. They had returned back to the apartment to watch the match. They settled in to watch the match like they had done before. Ali hadn’t expected to find this match emotional- that was until Megan Rapinoe scored. 

Ali couldn’t believe that the team would do something like that. Of course they had all sent their wishes to her earlier in the day but this was the best thing she had experienced. It was so much so that the rest of the first half was somewhat blurry to Ali due to the tears it had caused. 

‘Oh my god. I can’t believe they did that for me Ash’ Ali mumbled.

‘No me either Ali, I can’t believe she spelt your name wrong either’ Ash joked, ‘It’s Krieger, i before e’ Ash said mocking one of Ali’s common phrases.

‘Shut up Ash’ Ali said smacking her on the arm. ‘It’s the thought that counts.’

‘Okay, okay. Now do you feel like wiping your eyes so you can actually see what happens in the second half?’ 

‘So funny Ash, so funny,’ Ali chuckled, wiping her eyes.

Ali got through the rest of the match with no more tears and was even happier by the end because the victory meant the team had secured their place in the next round. Ali was grateful that the team had already secured their spot in the next round because it meant there would be much less pressure on the next game. There was one thing Ali was sure about and that was that the only thing worse than playing in a tense game, was watching a tense game.

Once the game had been over for about an hour Ali decided to call Megan and thank her personally.

‘Hey Pinoe, congrats on the goal’

‘Kriegs! Thank you. I trust you’re having a good birthday?’

‘Oh Pinoe thank you so much for that, you don’t understand how much it meant to me.’

‘Oh, you’re making me blush.’

‘Well I mean I might’ve appreciated it a little bit more if you’d spelled my name right, but I guess it’s the thought that counts.’

‘Well Kriegs you’ll be pleased to know the rest of the team are letting me here the end of it. We’re missing you though Ali so that was the least I could do, we all know you should   
have been here celebrating your birthday with us.’

‘Pinoe stop please you’ll make me cry again’

‘I made you cry?’ Pinoe asked with a chuckle, ‘ha-ha yes win. Well if that made you cry then you’d better get yourself another box of tissues now?’

‘Why? What’s happening, is something wrong?’

No, Kriegs don’t worry, it’s just I’ve been told to tell you that if, if and when, we make it to the final there’s a seat at Wembley with your name on it.’

‘Seriously? Oh my god Pinoe, you guys are the best. Oh no, you’ve made me cry again. Honestly, despite all the tears this has been one of the best birthdays ever.’

‘Well as long as they’re happy tears Ali.’

‘Of course they are. Erm, Pinoe? Will Ash be able to come to Wembley as well, I mean she’s stopping at my apartment so we can watch you all play together?’

‘Ah well, I’m not too sure about that one Ali. I mean I can’t promise anything.’

‘Really? I don’t want to have to leave her here while I come to the final though.’

‘Kriegs, I’m only joking. Of course she can come with you. Two seats at Wembley are waiting as we speak. We can’t be having our cripples miss out on all the fun now can we?’

‘Oh Pinoe thank you so much. This means the world. I’ve got to go now, Ash is wondering why I’m crying again but I guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks?’

‘You bet you will, see you soon Kriegs.’

‘See you Pinoe and thank you, thank you so much.’

Ali ended the call and looked up at Ash tears of joy streaming down her face again.

‘Ash, we’re going to Wembley!’

‘What do you mean Ali?’ a confused look spread across her face.

‘Pinoe just told me that if they get to the final they have reserved 2 seats for us so we can go and watch the match at Wembley.’

‘Oh Ali this is great. I’m so excited.’ The Ashlyn’s joy was evident as she pulled Ali into a hug.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are any errors. enjoy!

Ali and Ashlyn watched as the team set up a semi-final match against Canada. The two were now somewhat jealous as matches against Canada were like no other. There was a different intensity in the matches. The teams were also playing for more than just a place in the final; they were also playing for bragging rights. So instead of being there soaking up the atmosphere Ali and Ashlyn had to watch from Frankfurt, but they were no less excited. 

They settled in that evening waiting to see if the US would get to the final, and more importantly for them, see if they were going to get a trip to London.

It was a nerve-wracking experience for the 2 of them as Canada took the lead first. It was a long half hour of play for them to sit through before the US finally equalised. However their ease was short lived, as Christine Sinclair gave Canada the lead-again. But yet again Megan was there to equalise for the US. Ali and Ash had been expecting a good game but they certainly weren’t expecting this. Their team wasn’t supposed to be the one making the comebacks; they should be the team defending the lead. So when Canada took the lead once more and made the score 3-2 Ali wasn’t sure how much more she could watch.

‘Ali, calm down. There’s still a load of time left and you know what our team are like. Winning or losing we won’t stop pushing until that final whistle is blown. There’s plenty of time to equalise and even win it yet. We’ll be fine and we’ll be in London before you know it.’ Ash reassured Ali after sensing how nervous she was getting.

A nervous silence fell over the 2 as they continued to watch the match. The silence was broken as Abby scored the goal which tied the game at 3-3.

‘What happened there? How did we even get the free kick to start with?’ Ali questioned.

‘I think, it was because she held the ball too long. But that’s a rule that I have never seen properly enforced, like ever.’ Ash replied equally confused. ‘You know we may have got a bit lucky there but who cares we managed to tie the game.’

‘Yeah, I guess but does it not seem a bit unfair?’

‘Ali, I see what you’re saying but don’t question it, we get poor decisions against us all the time, it’s just how the game works.’

They then had to sit through the worst 30 minutes of extra time they had experienced. It didn’t seem like either team was on top and in control with both teams getting forward and attacking.

It wasn’t until they were nearing the end of the 30 minutes that it seemed like the US had finally taken control of the match. And it wasn’t until Alex Morgan scored that header did  
Ali finally relax and stop being so nervous.

‘Ash! They did it! We’re going to Wembley.’ Ali shouted excitedly.

‘I know! Oh my god that was a crazy match. I told you though, I told you they could do it.’ Ashlyn shouted triumphantly.

‘We best get packing then.’

The pair packed pretty quickly with the excitement still flowing through them. Although they weren’t getting to play at Wembley, they were going to be there and that in itself was enough for the pair to become like excitable small children.

Ali and Ashlyn arrived in London two days before the final and spent some time sightseeing before seeing the team for a little bit. It was great for the two of them to catch up with everyone and also made them feel like they were part of the team and were helping along the way despite not being able to play. Whilst with the team Megan had aptly named the pair ‘the cripples’. She also decided to tell them that they had seats in one of the boxes at Wembley and weren’t just sat in the stands. The excitement level had been building and could be felt in the atmosphere with the team. Unfortunately for Ali and Ashlyn, Pia had decided that she didn’t want the team distracted before the final so they weren’t allowed to see them in person again until after the match had been played.

It was the day of the final and Ali and Ashlyn were in luxury. Their seats were towards the top of the lower level and they were around the half way line. They had one of the best views of the whole pitch. This meant they had one of the best views of the victory as the US went out with a vengeance to correct the score from the World Cup a year ago.

Even though they weren’t on the pitch celebrating the victory they truly felt part of the team and enjoyed the party that went on late into the night just as much as anybody else.

They returned to Frankfurt a day later elated at the result but also with their heads pounding as they recovered from the hard night’s celebrations. Once they returned to Ali’s apartment they both dropped onto the couch, both so tired they couldn’t even make it to their respective bedrooms.

‘Hey Ali’

‘What Ash?’ Ali mumbled wondering how she could be so excitable.

‘I’ve got some good news.’

‘Can it not wait till morning I just want to sleep?’

‘Well….it could but I don’t think I will be able to wait till morning.’

‘Okay what.’ Ali said turning her head to look at Ashlyn.

‘Well, my trip to Germany is going to be lasting longer than a few weeks.’

‘What do you mean Ash?’

‘I may have signed a contract with a team out here.’ Ashlyn announced full of excitement

‘You what? Wait, you’ve what?’ 

‘I.have.signed.a.contact.with.a.team.here’ Ash said slowly so Ali’s tired brain could register what she said.

‘Okay,okay. No need to be like that. But seriously how come?’

‘Well there’s not a lot in the US in terms of professional teams and I’ve loved being here these past few weeks so I thought Germany was as good a place as any to join a team.’ Ash stated proudly.

‘That’s brilliant Ash.’ Ali said with feigned joy.

‘What? Are you not happy for me?’ Ash asked noticing the lack of true excitement in Ali’s voice.

‘No, no I am happy for you honestly. It’s just I’m so tired my brain isn’t really functioning. I’m going to go to bed and sleep and then we can celebrate properly tomorrow?’ Ali suggested.

‘Okay, that’s sounds like a plan. I could really do with some sleep as well.’ Ash got up and bounded to her room like a child on Christmas Day.

Ali on the other hand trudged to her room and lay in bed willing herself to sleep, only that never happened. She just spent the night wondering how she was going to tell Ash her plans. She even considered changing her mind again and staying in Germany. It was well into the early hours of the morning when Ali’s brain replayed something Heather had said to her on camp, ‘Well I’d talk to a couple others and see what they think before deciding.’ Then Ali worked out what she was saying. HAO must have known about Ashlyn’s plans.  
Ali was none the wiser as to what she would tell Ashlyn when she finally drifted off into a restless sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's been forever since I updated sorry. i hope you like it and i'm sorry it's taken so long. sorry if there are any errors as well I've tried to make sure there aren't any

Ali was still none the wiser as to what to tell Ashlyn as the both of them finalised their plans. It had been arranged that Ali would play out the rest of the year with Frankfurt so that when she was finally fit she would still get some playing time with Frankfurt.

Ali spent the next few nights sleeplessly trying to work when and how to tell Ashlyn what was happening. 

After another poor night’s sleep Ali slowly rolled out of bed and wandered into the living room, where Ashlyn had already made herself comfortable with a cup of coffee.

‘Morning Ali’ Ashlyn called cheerily

‘Morning Ash’ Ali mumbled out sleepily. ‘Hey Ash, do you want to go out for a breakfast-brunch thing? My treat?’

‘Sure, why not? Even better if you’re paying’ Ash joked, earning a half-hearted slap off Ali to the arm.

The pair got ready and left the apartment and headed towards the local café which had become one of their favourite places. The conversation on the way there was light hearted and probably made no real sense, but Ali’s mind wasn’t even on the conversation or even responding coherently, she was trying to work out what to tell Ashlyn.

Conversation carried on flowing as their food was brought out to them. Eventually Ali decided that the best way to tell Ashlyn was to just out right say it and not dance around the subject. There was a lull in conversation so Ali decided that it was time to share her news.

‘Ashlyn, I thought you should know that, erm, that I’m going back to the US.’

‘Oh, how long for?’ Ashlyn asked confused.

‘Erm, that’s the thing. There’s supposed to be a new league starting so I’m staying here till the end of the year and then that’s it.’

‘I thought you loved playing out her in Germany though Ali?’

‘Well, yeah I do. It’s just that going back to camp last time was so good and I hadn’t realised how much I’d been missing out on here so I decided that whilst I love it here in Germany that actually I’d like to go back home for a few years at least. The timing just feels right and I need a new challenge.’

‘Is this why you needed seem too happy when I told you was signing for a team out here?’

‘Er, well yeah I guess. And I know you didn’t make that decision purely because I’m out here in Germany, but I guess I felt bad that you’d made these plans and I was just going to leave.’

‘Look Ali, obviously I’m slightly disappointed that you’ll be leaving but I want you to be happy, so if going back to the US is what it takes then I honestly am happy for you. And anyway which team are you going to join?’

‘I don’t really know yet, a new league is supposed to be forming so it’s just a case of seeing where I get put.’

‘That’s great Ali, really. I’ll be behind you whatever decision you make, even if you are just going to leave here in Germany.’ Ashlyn said with a smirk.

‘You might just have to try and learn German then rather than just relying on me all the time.’

‘I don’t know about that one.’ Ashlyn replied laughing.

Their conversation returned to the usual light-heartedness between them and despite Ali’s doubts that Ashlyn wouldn’t take it so well she knew she had made the right decision.

Ali and Ashlyn made the most of time Ashlyn had left in Frankfurt going out and visiting all the places they hadn’t yet been to. Before saying their goodbye’s as Ashlyn headed to begin training with Duisburg. The two kept in touch still, with Ali often informing Ashlyn of either how long it would be until they played each other or how long it was until she returned to the US.

When Frankfurt did play Duisburg Ali got the bragging rights as Frankfurt won 3-0. It wasn’t mentioned in conversation too much however because she knew Ashlyn would be hurting after conceding 3 goals.

Ali made sure that she enjoyed all the time she spent with her Frankfurt teammates, knowing it wouldn’t be too long before she returned home and wouldn’t see many of them again in such a friendly manner, as the next time she would play with them wouldn’t most likely be against them. As Ali finally worked her way back to full fitness she started to see some playing time for Frankfurt and despite starting tentatively she got back into it and started playing like she’d never been injured.

Starting playing again was bittersweet for Ali because she knew it meant she was getting closer to leaving Germany. Whilst she was sure she had made the right decision it didn’t make leaving any easier. 

December rolled around and Ali knew for sure that she was doing the right thing as she gradually began to empty her apartment ready for the move back to America. Moving back meant she would get to spend some more time with her family for a short while which she was grateful for because she often felt guilty that they were always second to football in her life.

Her last match for Frankfurt was tough for Ali to play in. she loved every aspect of the club, from the management, to the players, to the fans and even the city itself. Everyone had made her feel comfortable when she had first arrived and to now be leaving was tough for Ali. But she had made it through her last match, said goodbye to her teammates one last time and for the final time soaked up the atmosphere that the fans always created.

Ashlyn showed up the day Ali was leaving to drive her to the airport and to also be able to hold off saying goodbye for a short while longer. The drive to the airport was filled with laughter as they reminisced about the good times they had shared whilst in Germany. This was what Ali needed. She didn’t want to be leaving Germany overwhelmed by sadness so the chance to laugh was perfect. 

She said goodbye to Ashlyn and headed towards the departure lounge still laughing. It wasn’t until she sat on the plane and it took off did she start to cry. Ali didn’t even know why she was crying though. She was heading on another brilliant adventure, back with her family and national team teammates. Although she was leaving the only professional environment she had ever known she was also aware that she was heading back home and would love whatever was to come in the next few years.


	9. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long, and sorry this isn't a proper update

so it's been ages since the last update and i promise i am going to update this story again, hopefully very very soon. i just have had some serious writers block, and i'm also not sure what direction i want this story to go in, i thought i knew but have changed my mind from the initial plan. As well as the writers block my school work has got pretty crazy lately and i am awful at time management and amazing a procrastination so that's how that's going. I am working on the next chapter, and am now rambling, just comment if there's anything you would like to see in this story and whatever else. Also feel free to check out my other works, which i will hopefully also be updating soon

And thank you to everyone who has read this and is enjoying it


	10. Author's Note 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its not a proper update

Okay, so its been way, way, way too long since I updated anything here. I have not abandoned this and I am going to finish this story. I have just been swamped with school and life and I'm going to have to pull some kind of miracle to get into university so that's my priority for the next couple of months. By the summer I will be back updating and I will finish all this. If anyone is actually still wanting updates, sorry it's been so long.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. I have the next chapter sorted but am using this one to see if you guys like the idea.


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